Pumpkin Tourney Results

Oi! Grab your drinks and gather round everyone! The first pair of results from county Redgrave’s Pumpkin Tourney are in. We got, let’s see here, winners of armored melee and archery. If you haven’t heard of any of these folks then grab your soups and I’ll fill you in.

Armored Melee Winner

The winner of the armored melee is Dame Meredith Limpets, the Sea Shell Knight. As with other armored melees, the bout started with 16 armored knights with various arms. Meredith began with her conch sword and ball mace. She took a conservative start, letting the over eager combatants bash each other into submission while she circled the group, looking for an opening.

Once the crowd was culled down to 9, she charged in and took on Sir Barney Selway. Now Barney is no slouch with a morningstar, he famously won the melee in Prince’s Rest last spring with it, but Meredith’s speed blunted his attack. The old knight from out east swung himself silly before Meredith knocked his helmet off with a parry. The crowd went wild.

Meredith managed to play the other knights against one another until the field was nothing but herself and the purple knight, Sir Erik Radish. Radish himself had dispatched 4 knights already and the crowd seemed to be largely shouting his name. Both knights were sizing up each other, planning the first attack. No one would have guessed that Meredith was working out the angles on Erik’s visor. She feigned a step forward and when Erik took the bait, connected her mace onto the pointed end of Erik’s helmet. So strong was the blow that the steel bent upwards, blinding him. For there, Meredith simply tapped his breast plate with her sword, let him lunge forward and let a fence post deliver the yielding strike. A stunned crowd was silent before erupting into chants of ‘Seashell, Seashell!’

Dame Meredith Limpets

The Seashell Knight hails from the coastal kingdom of Meremouth where she serves as their Warden of the Land. Fiercely popular with the locals, Meredith is one of the few with the title or Dame or Sir to have earned it solely on deeds alone. Her family are simple charcoal burners who have never seen their station rise much in the last few generations. Meredith, however, always seemed destined for greater things.

Strangely enough, most of Meredith’s life has been tied to the number 3. Born on the 3rd day of the 3rd month as the 3rd child. She managed to infuriate the teachers of all 3 of her first vocations. Charcoal burning with her parents, town watch leaders and eventually city militia commanders, all were incensed as she brushed off traditional methods or showed them up by out-skilling them. When Meremouth was attacked by Huge Edwin’s marauder army, it would be Meredith’s 3 actions that would turn the tide, and her fortunes.

Huge Edwin had invaded by sea and caught the capital city guard completely by surprise. They had pushed right through the middle of the city and were banging on the King’s own castle gates. The local militia commanders were at a loss on how to break the siege, all barking at one another about attacking this flank or that. Meredith had had enough of the stale chatter and quickly broke ranks, fleeing to the harbor on a stolen horse.

The next events happened in short order. 3 of the raider’s ships burst into huge fire balls after their pitch barrels were sabotaged. As part of the sieging army broke off to make for the harbor, the supports of an old watch tower came loose, crushing the attackers under crumbling granite. Finally, as Big Edwin reached the top of a bell tower to view the chaos, Meredith appeared from the shadows and took the enemy commander hostage. It wasn't long after when the attackers fully surrendered.

As the sun set over Meremouth’s capital city, King Fiann III knighted Meredith in view of cheering crowds and militia commanders seething with jealousy.

Archery

The winner of the archery contest is, oh my, I’m sure the nobles are none too happy about this, Dexter ‘The Harpist’. Looks like he beat out 30 other contestants, including graduates from the Ghostwood and Shepherd’s Run, 2 of the best archery schools around. Sounds like some of the nobles are claiming foul play but only to deaf ears, the winner has been scribed by the local tourney authority and unless they can produce serious evidence, that won’t be changed.

Looks like Dexter just barely passed the qualifying rounds, coming in the last possible position to move up the bracket. When he first stepped up to the mark he was greeted with laughter at his bulking frame and tattooed arms. His form was sloppy with shots landing off the mark. One went so wide it actually landed in a post above the silk bench, where the nobles sit. No one thought this fella had a chance, and yet, just when it seemed like he was done, Dexter would land a shot exactly where he needed.

This went on until the final round when almost no one in the crowd noticed that Dexter had snuck his way in. His competition was Mary Buckeye, the hunt master for Lord Willum Sharpe from up north. She looked at her rival with the same disregard as the crowd. Clearly, she felt that this upstart from the Capital fumbled his way into the finals and would be quickly dispatched. Keen observers would notice that this was all how Dexter planned.

The Harpist stepped up and hit the bullseye. Then again, and again and again. Mary was so thrown by Dexter’s sudden skill that she became panicked and began to lose her aim. Each arrow she sent down range became more erratic then the last. What should have been the fiercest competition became the shortest contest of the tourney. The cheap seats erupted in joy while the nobles grumbled and protested. Once the judges announced the winner, Dexter fired an arrow into the oak trophy, shouting ‘let’s have it!’

Dexter ‘The Harpist’

Before the Pumpkin Tourney, no one had ever heard of Dexter. While he had no royal patron for entry, he certainly had the coin to pay his way in. A tattooed hulk from The Capital with a full purse, well there’s only one place he’s coming from.

Dexter is a self-proclaimed ‘reformed gangster.’ He was a member of the Tin-Shilling gang in The Capital, one of the most notorious members of the thieves guild. Dexter gained the nickname ‘The Harpist’ for his skill with a bow in service to the gang. Now, it’s well known the thieves guild has a strict no killing policy, but no one said anything about wounding. To ‘play a harp’ for the guild means being such a sure shot that in the midst of a getaway, you only hit guardsman’s leg or soft rump.

Dexter served his time, 5 years in a lockup after a heist gone wrong. The rumors are that he was betrayed by someone in the gang amongst a bigger shake up. He and 2 other members picked up a contract to steal a coin press from a tax office. Clearly someone wanted to setup a counterfeiting operation, but that’s none of my business.

The heist started just fine, hopping roof to roof on a new moon night. It wasn’t until the press was in hand that things went south. The back door that was always unlocked suddenly wasn’t. The guards that usually patrolled the waterway this time of night were out front. After fleeing the guards for a spell, they were flagged down by a passerby claiming to offer aid. He pointed to safe passage but when the trio entered the alley, they found a flock of armed guards.

The 3 thieves knew when the jig was up and 2 of them put their hands in the air. Before Dexter followed suit, he noticed an onlooker watching from a nearby pub balcony. He recognized him as the fixer who got them the contract. Dexter decided then to break that no-killing rule, on account of the betrayal. He fired one shot without looking before dropping the bow and putting his hands in the air. The guards laughed and teased at the apparent misfire before a body slammed onto the cobblestones a hundred yards away.

Dexter was initially sentenced to hanging for murder. But, due to his long service to the guild and orderly conduct until that point, bribes were paid to the right magistrates and suddenly his murder turned into self-defense. Self-defense from a bystander standing 100 yards away on a balcony with a drink in their hand. Ain’t the legal system grand? His sentence was reduced to 5 years in a lockup followed by exile from The Capital.

Not an easy thing for a boy who had only ever known The Capital his whole life, but I suppose it’s better than having your neck straightened out.